I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize