actually, I'm a sock model
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
