Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
