I feel great
I just peed on a car
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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