he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
