Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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