I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They are going to name an STD after you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
