I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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