Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
