a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize