Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
