u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
