i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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