Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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