he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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