so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
