I never want to see another naked old woman again.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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