If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
