Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
