Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
