Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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