so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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