can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize