At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
