pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
