i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize