Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have aggressive nipples.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
