Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
