All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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