He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
