I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize