They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
