You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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