I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
