got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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