why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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