Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
