Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
