3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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