I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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