I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
