How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
