This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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