that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
