woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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