Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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