she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
