I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
