he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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