I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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