We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
