He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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