I hate your face
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
