at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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