I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize