So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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