she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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