Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
