You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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