okay pat passed out under dana's car
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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