hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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