Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
