Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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