her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
