Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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