Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
